Yacine B. - Our New Partner! haha. 

One of the nifty little things i have learned in the past year or so is that one of the byproducts of any level of success is dealing with the hangers on and the nitwits. This brand spanking new RECURRING POST will highlight the nitwit side of things. What i mean by that is the countless and never-ending incoming messages, voicemails, in-person pitches and any other channels of communications that sometimes have one thing in common… LEGENDARILY RIDICULOUS PROPOSALS. Some come from young wet-behind-the-ears kids who are looking to impress… some are from late 20, early 30 guys who will always try to latch on to the next big thing by pitching their ability to deliver Puff Daddy (not P. Diddy, but his younger brother) to ICONIC events… others come from newly immigrated people who want to not only promote or plan events for us but also learn English on the job (as if ICONIC offers ESL classes on the weekends)… and even some people go about pitching us as if i was born motarded (GLUCKISM!) and don’t realize that a $12,000 appearance fee to book a Season 2 Real Worlder with AIDS is a bit inflated (rule of thumb in the nightlife industry is that reality TV stars get between $500 and $1500 per club appearance)

So this first ‘Priceless ICONIC MailBag’post is sharing with you a classic example of what poor Jonny Gluckers has to deal with on a weekly basis…

FORM OF COMMUNICATION: Facebook message

GENERAL PROPOSAL: For ICONIC to work UNDER an 18 year old promoter with a company that is as ridiculously named as their logo looks

THE STORY: After an amazing Gluck nap, I wake up and head over to the computer to check up on the usual online things… a bit of time scrolling through myspace bulletins, some time making sure our bank accounts are plentiful, a few minutes spent checking the newest incoming emails and then some precious time on facebook. 8 new facemessages in a couple hour span is nothing new, but what came in from a mister Yacine B. was ABSOLUTELY PRICELESS and VERY NEW!

What follows are some excerpts from a lengthy message that left Jon Gluck himself speechless with jaw wide open:

“whats up jon? i know you are iconic entertainment and you’ve been around the block as a small promo company doing big events…im in the same shoes now. i run tobazco promotions, we do e4 fridays and trax mondays… so far, we havnt struck a decent deal. my team is 4 guys, each of them with some promoters who work for them for no pay and pure benefits… were all 21+ and we push… our logo all over their shit… saturdays at trax suck right now cause its kinda ghetto but we drink for free and make $100 cashtoo. i was interested in forming a partnership, and helping eachother out. id be willing to give you guys a table and a bottle and some cash depending on ur performanceevery friday if you wana promote under us… im pretty easy to negotiate with and i dont do sleazy biz at all, im all about class and honesty, so if you want to do clean business only give me a shout. thanks buddy.”

MOTHER EFFING PRICLESS PEOPLE! Tell me i don’t get to write a book one day!

And here is my breakdown young Yacine: (1) we are a small promo company indeed, but only if you call landing on the moon a small event in history; (2) you are not in the same shoes because my shoes are made of pure Gluck and yours are probably sandals from Goodwill (ouch!); (3) for future try not to let people know that you “haven’t struck a decent deal yet” if you are pitching them on forming a partnership; (4) “our logo all over their shit” might legitimitely seem like a technical business term, but it turns out it isn’t; (5) If ICONIC made $100 cash for a night’s work i would hang myself, oh and we haven’t paid for drinks since ‘96. haha; (6) and last but seriously the best part of this all… “if you wanna promote UNDER US!!!” Ya, I’ll sit down with the team and mull it over, but i can’t promise anything. KILL YOUR LIFE!

Until next time, i hope you enjoyed that as much as we did… what the hell will be in my inbox tomorrow…