Swell Food Indeed!
So me and the boys have been hearing about this supposed new delicious menu at Muze Lounge in North Scotts. So when we got the call from one of their awesome owners and resident lobbyist, Terrell “i date foreign hookers only” Brown with an invitation for a private taste testing… we gathered the guys and headed for northern pasture.First of all, WOW!!! They knocked the menu out of the effing park! Apparently some chef fresh off of the plane from some fourth world country took the reigns… good work!
All said and done, here are your 3 GLUCK recommendations: Lobster Macaroni, Chicken Roulade, and the Scallops. Order it quick!
time out, STORY TIME:::
Something absolutely priceless is that the guys all the sudden turned my attention to a Wild Striped Bass plate that had just come out. The presentation seriously was arranged with 2 large tomatoes playing the ‘balls’ and the delectable Bass playing the leading role of ’shaft’… together, you had… well, check out the image. haha.
My dumb ass, thinking we are in the midst of a legendary moment, starts chuckling away… the entire table is laughing our asses off because of how insane the chef must be to send the food out like that. I immediately turn to my asshole mode which is when i am going to rub what happened in Muze’s face… Terrell comes over to check on us… I point down at the dish and ask “Hey T, what is that great looking sauce that is surrounding the plate?” T answers: “balsamic” and in classic infant fashion, i take the cue and run with it: “T, did you just say, BALLsamic???” Haha. Wow. The table erupted and we are officially off and running with the good times… Terrell doesn’t look too happy so I’m thinking that he’s about to head back to the kitchen and fire this poor chef bastard that probably made an innocent mistake… in the meantime, we carry on with our meal… And i can’t stop talking about what just went down, but it seems that the others at the table aren’t as impressed with what has to be an amazing story… WELL, TURNS OUT THE JOKE WAS ON THIS GUY!
Apparently during one of the many times that i was glancing down at my phone to see if any text messages came in from any mystery girls, my idiot friends had rearranged the dish to look like it did. Fast forward to me looking up, my friends turning my attention to the plate, and the rest is embarrassing history. So basically while I’m on my high horse with a completely snooty attitude towards legendary Terrell and his awesome establishment, he is all the while probably thinking to himself “why the hell is Jon getting so worked up about this dumb prank” THE ANSWER IS, CUS I’M AN ASSHOLE, TERRELL… A PLAIN AND SIMPLE ASSMUNCH WHO SERIOUSLY THOUGHT YOUR BRAND NEW STATE-OF-THE-ART CHEF MADE A GINORMOUS GAFF IN THE SHAPE OF A MEMBER AND A PAIR OF MANTILOPES WITH A SIDE OF BALLsamic.
Good times in North Scotts indeed!!!
